If the word itself doesn’t have an objective meaning, does perfection even exist?
Perfection. For some people, no one word in our vocabulary can cause as much distress as perfection. It causes us sleepless nights, hours of sunk cost, and numerous disagreements. The word perfection causes so many problems because of its ironically imperfect, subjective meaning. Not only does the word perfect have different meanings between math, chemistry, physics, ethics, ontology, and even art theory, but it has gained such colloquial acceptance in just about every area of our life, that having an objective definition of the word perfection is nearly impossible. Outside of a narrow definition like perfect numbers, or rules, we create ourselves (like pitching a perfect game in baseball), can anyone demonstrate something that is objectively perfect?
If the word itself doesn’t have an objective meaning, does perfection even exist?
I would argue that in the way we typically use the word, there’s no such thing as perfection. It’s more of an ever-evolving, nebulous concept…one that is different for everyone. The harsh reality is that everything is flawed. In our lives, we continually push ourselves for our own versions of perfection. We want to have the perfect pitch to a customer, we want to be a perfect employee, we strive to be a perfect parent. Unfortunately, there’s no such thing. We’re chasing a concept that is not only ever-evolving, but it’s a concept that we oftentimes cannot even define for ourselves. The concept of perfection gets in the way of our goals and holds us back.
Achieving Big Goals Requires Action
The key to getting past a narrow, made-up view of perfection is to push yourself to act, sometimes when you’re not ready. Several years ago, I got a crazy idea that I wanted to run an ultra marathon. I didn’t just want to run 50K. Nope, I wanted to skip right over the 50K distance and jump straight to a 50-mile race. Why? Honestly, I don’t really know. I could try and make up something that sounds enlightened, or paints me as “goal-oriented”, but I think I wanted to do it just to do it. I wanted to see if I could. If I pushed myself, what would happen? After I dreamed up the goal and decided that was what I was going to do, the execution…well, it wasn’t easy, but at least I knew what I had to do, even though I felt that I was just kind of making up the plan as I went.
Basically, training for an ultra is a lot like training for a regular marathon. The only difference is that you need to learn how to eat (and keep it down) during the race. It also involves putting in time on the trails and not just the road, as these are two, distinct skill sets. But really, it’s not that complicated. It’s not that amazing. It’s not undoable. It’s, well…it’s just a bunch of running.
The day of the race was far from perfect. I wanted to quit for, well…about 11 hours. There was one key moment where I almost dropped out. About 32 miles in, I had missed a key protein intake. Unfortunately, when you continually run like a crazy person, you need continual protein or you turn into a bumbling idiot. You can’t form coherent sentences. Luckily, my wife was there to help put everything into perspective. It took about 30–45 minutes, but I ate, got back on the trail, and finished. My feet hurt, my head hurt, just about every part of my body hurt, but I did it. It wasn’t perfect. I failed many times. Still to this day, I don’t know why I did it or if I’ll do another one, but the experience was something I’ll never forget. It taught me a lot about myself and reminded me of how the human spirit can help us move past our inner perfectionist and focus on actually doing something.
Making a change is as simple as taking action. You’ve got to start. We have the amazing opportunity to experiment with many different tactics on how to try to achieve our goals. Throughout the process, when we see the progress that is moving us toward where we want to be, we can feed on that energy and continue the positive actions that are getting us there. If we don’t see what we are doing is working, or is moving us backward, we can always stop. Just by starting something new, we stop the false idea of perfection that stops many people from ever starting.
Fear Holds us Back
Our pursuit of perfection is partially rooted in fear, namely, the fear of failure. However, failure, like perfection, is subjective. We can probably think of some examples that many people will agree to look like a failure, but I believe that failure only happens if you stumble and do not get up to try again. So many successes have been born out of perceived failures. Edison “failed” 1,000 times trying to find the right filament for the light bulb. Once it finally worked, was it perfect? No. Lightbulbs have significantly evolved just in my lifetime and they will continue to evolve. Edison’s solution was a solution that worked for the time.
When we let a nebulous concept of perfection hold us back from trying, fear and self-doubt grip our decision-making process. When we do this, we fail to act and nothing ever happens. Nothing ever changes. We continue to wish that something was different, but we wholeheartedly believe in our self-made version of perfection. And the inverse, failing, scares us. What would our society look like if Edison stopped because he knew that he could never create something perfect? Well, maybe some other fearless inventor would have created the light bulb, or maybe we would still be in the dark. The fear of not being perfect is a fear that holds us back in our jobs, in our personal lives, and as a society as a whole.
Perfectionism’s Mental Health Impact
Perfectionism is closely related to OCD. Don’t believe me? Check out this study. Perfectionism is continually living in a state of dissatisfaction with anything that we’re dealing with. It causes procrastination, stress, anxiety, hoarding, and so many other issues. Yeah, it can get messy. More on that here. When we give ourselves unreasonably high goals, (many of which are ever-changing and self-imposed), it could even lead to imposter syndrome. It turns out that the word “perfect” isn’t just imperfect, it’s a major cause for concern.
Growth is Different
What are you trying to achieve? Is it to complete a big project? Are you looking for a promotion? Are you pursuing a new career path? Don’t let your flawed ideas of perfection hold you back from these goals.
Growth is not perfection. All living things grow. Plants, animals, even our universe is ever-expanding. As humans, until we reach a state of cognitive decline, our minds will likely continue to grow. They will continue to build upon each success or failure, no matter how big or how small. Growth requires time, nurturing, and continued development. Growth is more about the journey and less about the perceived fictitious perfection that you will receive once you reach your self-defined destination. More importantly, growth requires action. It requires us to actually put ourselves out there and try, despite our fears. Despite our insecurities. Even though we will never reach perfection.
What do you think?