Self Improvement Archives - The Niche Marketer

Why I Ran 50 Miles and Why I (Probably) Won’t Do it Again

In April of 2013, I finished my first marathon. It was pouring rain in Nashville, TN, and nobody was out. It was cold, lonesome, and my feet were soggy. It’s kind of what you might expect a country song to be about regarding running a marathon in Nashville. The only difference is that my dog was okay, my wife didn’t leave, and I didn’t have a broken-down pickup. When I say that it rained, it didn’t just rain; it rained four inches during the race. It was pretty terrible.

This race was part of the popular Rock and Roll marathon series, where there was supposed to be bands playing at every mile during the race. That didn’t happen. My feet hurt, my body hurt, I couldn’t walk properly for several days…I was pretty miserable. However, there is something indescribable about the feeling of crossing the finish line of a marathon, especially your first marathon. Although it’s indescribable, here I go. It’s like every emotion you could possibly have hit you at one time. It’s this along with this unbeatable feeling of euphoria, almost like you have left reality for several minutes.

Sure, it was terrible, but it was beautiful at the same time, and as soon as I crossed the finish line, I knew that this was just the beginning. I had already set my sights on ultras. If you don’t know what an ultra-marathon is, technically, it’s any distance greater than a marathon. Although I don’t know of any 26.3’s, I guess they would qualify. They are typically 50K, 50 miles, 100K, and 100 miles. Most runners don’t just jump into ultras. The usual progression is marathon, 50K, 50 Miles…you get the picture.

Ultra-marathons are usually run on trails, although there are some really weird ones that are run on concrete. I don’t know why you would ever do that to yourself. Catching the bug of an ultra meant that I needed to find one, and I needed to start shifting my running from the road to the trails. In 2014, I found a 50-mile race close to where I was living, along the limestone bluffs of the Mississippi River in Iowa. So I took the leap and put it on my calendar.

Marathon Training

For non-runners, marathon training is just a lot of running. Nothing fancy, you just have to know that you can do this and train safely. That’s not to say that there aren’t some intense marathon runners that split up their days with speed workouts, weight training, VO2 max training, and cross-training. I’m not one of those people, though. I’m a middle of the pack runner, someone who runs to clear my head and get away from stress for a while.

Many injuries happen during marathon training, mainly stress fractures, plantar fasciitis, and the worst, IT-band syndrome. I’ve had all of these in various places and different levels of severity. While they are not fun, they’re part of the price that you pay for those few minutes of euphoria at the end of the race. Although 2013 was my first marathon, I had trained and entered a couple of marathons as far back as 2010, only to have been sidelined weeks before the race with an injury. I almost had to drop Chicago twice due to injuries but ended up just running injured one year.

I’d never been a runner in high school. I hadn’t run in college. Not to compete, not for fun, nothing. I was not interested, and I never thought I’d ever get into it. However, when I met my wife, she had run a marathon, and so we started running together. From there, I got into it, no, really, I REALLY got into it. From 2011-2015 I ran three seven-mile races, one half marathon, five marathons, and three ultras.

Typically, when you train for a marathon, you slowly build up your per week mileage until you can run a 20-mile run a couple of weeks before the race, then you taper down and rest before the run. During these runs, you only really need water, so it’s pretty easy to manage. Many marathon training programs that you read in the rags will outline a 16-week plan. This is usually done to avoid injury.

Take it from someone that has been injured A LOT. If you’re interested in running a marathon and don’t currently run much (I would say less than 30 miles a week), the 16-week plan is not a terrible idea. You can risk a stress fracture if you do too much too soon because your bones just aren’t used to the repetitive abuse that you put them through during marathon training. I also made the mistake early on of not replenishing properly after a run. In long runs, you need to repair your muscles, so make sure to get a good amino acid supplement for your cool down and increase your protein intake. This is especially important if you are a vegetarian runner. Vitamin D is also great for keeping your bones healthy, so don’t be a weirdo that runs at 4 am. If you are able, run with the sun.

Ultramarathon Training

This was confusing for me, and I didn’t realize why until I ran a 50-mile race, but training for an ultra is a lot like training for a marathon. Again, it’s pretty much just a bunch of running. However, you would think that since you were attempting twice the distance of a marathon that you would need this massive plan that would take half a year where you would run a 40 mile run before the race, but that’s not the case.

Why not? Well, from what I’ve been able to piece together, there’s not a magic threshold. I think that marathon plans just want to make sure that you’re really in and can do 20 miles before you go for the race. However, if you are running an ultra and already run a marathon (which is 99% of people who run ultras), you know you can run a long time. However, with an ultra, you’ve got to be mentally tough.

Running a marathon is physically painful. There’s no sugar-coating it. Your feet hurt, your legs hurt, your whole body hurts. After my first marathon, I couldn’t walk down the stairs forward. I had to go down backward. Running an ultra isn’t more painful; it’s just that same pain for a much longer time period. Yeah, not just double; it doesn’t work that way. I’m not running a 6-7 hour 50-mile race. I’m not an elite athlete. Think more like 10-12 hours. Running…for 10-12 hours. The mental part comes in when you hit about three hours, and you realize that it will hurt like this for another seven or eight hours.

So why does it take so long? Well, as I said, I’m not Superman, and I can’t keep an 8:00 pace for 50 miles. Plus, there are hills. Yep, lots of hills. Unless you are crazy, early in ultra training, you learn to repeat the phrase “walk the uphills.” During my 50, there was 8,000 feet of elevation change. It’s not the craziest, but it was a lot.

The other thing that is different about training for an ultra is that you have to learn how to eat. With a marathon, you just really need water and maybe some Gatorade, but if you are going to run 50, you’ve got to learn to eat and run. There’s a bizarre thing that happens when you run that long, you essentially burn through your protein, so you have to continually consume carbohydrates and protein. Otherwise, your body starts to try and get energy from somewhere else. Your muscles are shot at a certain point, so the most comfortable place for your body to get energy is your brain. More on that later…

The Race

Race day was a chilly November morning. It started at 6 am, and luckily it didn’t rain. This course was essentially a bunch of out and backs (basically, you run to a point and run back) that were somewhere around 6 miles. That made it pretty easy to set up my car as an aid station, so I had everything I needed in the trunk. I would swap water for Gatorade every 6 miles, and vice versa, and get protein every other loop. I alternated protein for a special carbohydrate called Vitargo, a fast-acting carbohydrate, which is good for intense energy.

I ran this race alone, partially because I like running alone and partly because there was no way that I was going to find someone who wanted to run 50 miles with me. To be honest, I barely wanted to run 50 miles with me. I also decided not to have music until the last 20 miles, partially to enjoy the day and somewhat as an incentive to get me over halfway through. Everything was going well until around halfway through the race. I stopped at my car and realized that last time I stopped, I locked my key in the trunk. This was bad. Really bad. No protein at a protein stop. My key was in my trunk, and my phone was locked in my car. Luckily, I was able to get a phone from someone else to call my wife. I told her I would make another loop and try and be there in an hour or so.

However, continually abusing your body at 25+ miles without giving it protein starts to take a toll. Remember what I mentioned about your body taking energy from your brain about three paragraphs up? Well, that’s exactly what happened. I can’t remember much about half of that loop, and by the time I made it back to the car, I couldn’t form coherent sentences. Luckily, my wife was there and had the extra key. Like a neanderthal, I just pointed and spouted single words. “Trunk,” I pointed to the trunk.

I grabbed a protein bar and some more Vitargo and went over to the grass to sit down. I took my shoes off and laid down. My wife massaged my feet as I just stared at the sky for what seemed like hours. By my watch, after about 30 minutes of just laying there, I was able to talk and think. I was mainly thinking about how I just wanted to go home. The other prevailing thought was how much I didn’t want to get back on that trail.

“I want to quit,” I said.

“Okay,” said my wife.

“I’m serious; this is just stupid. Why am I doing this?”

“Well,” she said, “There’s nothing wrong with quitting; this is the furthest you’ve ever run, right?”

“Yep,” I said, feeling defeated. “I really wanted this.”

“If you want to, you can get back out there, but there’s nothing wrong with going home either,” she said.

I thought about it for a while. It would be really easy to go home. My shoes were already off. I was exhausted. It seemed like the right thing to do. However, at that moment, I realized that I could quit at any time, not just at that moment. I could get back on the trail, and if I felt that I couldn’t finish, I could just drop out. So I did one of the most challenging things that I had done up to that point in my life, I put my shoes back on. I went back to the car, got another protein bar and grabbed my MP3 player (which I hadn’t used yet in this race), blasted some Pixies, and got back on the trail.

It hurt the entire time. I walked a lot of uphills. Sometimes I walked the slight inclines and reasoned with myself that this seemingly flat piece of ground has a slight upward slope. I kept going and finished another 4-5 hours later.

Earlier in this article, I mentioned how it feels to cross the finish line in a marathon. For whatever reason, I’ve never gotten that feeling when crossing the finish line of an ultra. That day, I felt nothing. Well, nothing but pain. I realized that for me, the destination of the race wasn’t the point. The point was the race itself. The people I met, the challenges that I had overcome, the connection with nature, and the building of the mental toughness that is critical for many difficulties and challenges in life. The race was an excellent metaphor for life itself.

Why I (Probably) Won’t Do it Again

Life has a strange way of pushing and pulling you in and out of phases. To me, it’s impossible to remember years, but easier to remember different periods of my life where I was really into something. During this period of my life, I was really into running races. I got hit by a car as a pedestrian in 2016, and almost immediately, I lost my desire to race. I still have no idea why that event triggered my disinterest, but I think it was just a catalyst to push me into the next phase of my life. Shortly afterward, I started grad school, so I got really into that. Then, we had a daughter. Now I’m in the new dad phase.

I probably won’t do it again because I almost feel that getting back into it is revisiting a version of a past me and not the current me. People are dynamic. We’re continually changing and evolving into our surroundings. What you loved when you are a kid really may have no interest to you now. However, I say probably, because I know I did like it. I’m not sure if I loved it, but I was very involved. I still run; just now, it’s with a stroller. I’ll probably run until the day that I can’t run anymore. I have just lost interest in racing. Maybe that will change. Who knows? Much like the point in the race where I almost dropped, though, I don’t want to say that I’m completely out because I don’t have to drop now. I can do that at any point in the race.

Do You Struggle With Imposter Syndrome? You’re Not Alone

Have you ever doubted yourself? Have you second-guessed your achievements? Do you look at other people’s work or achievements on LinkedIn and get depressed? If so, you may be experiencing the ever-pervasive imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is not a diagnosis, but it is a known psychological condition. When a person has persistent self-doubt about their accomplishments, it is accompanied by the fear of self-doubt despite ongoing success. [1] Unfortunately, the odds are that you actually will experience imposter syndrome, as 70% of people experience this feeling.[2] While I know from experience that this is a problem with creatives, it can show up in really any line of work. Before I get into this further, let me be clear that I am not qualified to give any type of mental health advice. I’m just trying to give you a little perspective and talk about a few items that have helped me through imposter syndrome. I’m not a mental health professional, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express prior to the world turning into a trash fire.

Types of Imposter Syndrome

According to Dr. Valerie Young, there are five different types of imposter syndrome.[3]

The Perfectionist
The Superwoman/Superman
The Natural Genius
The Soloist
The Expert

Let’s look at each of these a little more in-depth.

The Perfectionist

The perfectionist is probably the most common subtype of imposter syndrome. The perfectionist is the type of person that needs to make sure that every last detail is taken care of to their standards. Notice that I pointed out “to their standards.” Since perfection doesn’t exist, what could tend to happen is the perfectionist is unable to relinquish any type of control to anyone else. They then carry a more significant workload, and when they make a mistake, the cycle of self-doubt starts to circulate, which creates the process of imposter syndrome over again. It’s also been found that treating intolerance of uncertainty of obsessions could lessen the distress of perfectionism.[4]

The Superwoman/Superman

In this type of imposter syndrome, the person tries to take on as much as they can in an effort to try and keep up with their colleagues. The term workaholic is often associated with this group. Think of the person that is the first one in the office and the last one to leave. They like to take on any and every challenge thrown their way. The problem that can occur with this type of thinking is that all of your validation comes from your work. You can lose your sense of self and get stuck in continual burnout because you don’t know when to stop taking on new challenges.

The Soloist

Are you afraid to ask for help? Maybe you feel like you can or would instead handle everything on your own. You might have trouble as a soloist. The problem with trying to take everything on your own is that you are likely to burn out. Also, as a soloist, your accomplishments are always only as good as your work. When you can work with others and delegate, your achievements are magnified by the amount of influence you have to effect change.

The Natural Genius

Do you thrive under pressure? Maybe you make great decisions in the moment with little research or effort into studying the problem. You might just fall into the natural genius category. A natural genius may have trouble when they encounter an issue or series of problems that do not fall under their area of expertise. They may not attempt challenges that make them look like they are struggling with a topic.

The Expert

Do you feel like your worth is derived by how much you know about a subject? Are you always trying to understand and learn more about that subject to try and justify your worth? While the expert is still incredibly knowledgeable about a topic, their insecurities lie in that they feel like they don’t and will never know enough.

I Hope My Continual Struggle with Imposter Syndrome is Relatable

Although I’ve drifted back and forth between imposter syndrome categories, I would describe my overarching feeling a little differently. I’d describe it as more of an underdog type of theme throughout my career. My marketing journey was unconventional, and I often get crippling instances of imposter syndrome, especially when I compare myself to others that started with a more traditional path. In undergrad, I studied music and was in a program centered around the music business. Not only that, but I entered this program in the worst possible time in the history of the world to join a music business program, right as Napster had launched. So Napster upended the industry, but I was stubborn and decided to go for it anyway. I applied to just about every internship that I could find, and in 2003, I found myself with two concurrent internships in Nashville. One of those internships involved helping Colin Hay’s career (yep, the guy in Men at Work). I wrote about that whole experience here.

Upon graduation, I used my experience to land a job at a small Bluegrass record label. I was 22 and thrust into a position where I immediately had responsibilities over the P&L, hiring, contract negotiations, and vendor relations. I had no experience in any of those areas and barely touched on any of these subjects during school. The only framework I had on how to run a record label came from a three-month unpaid internship. I did the best that I could, and I ended up hiring a couple of my friends from college. Somehow we made it work, won a couple of awards, signed new artists, and secured a record distribution agreement with Sony.

After a couple of years, I wanted to get out of the music industry and grow my marketing experience. I had no idea how to do this and I just kind of turned into a loose cannon applying to any and every job that I could. That didn’t work, so I zeroed in on the idea that if I wanted to learn more about marketing, I needed to join a marketing agency.

I connected with an agency that was close to where I grew up, got an interview, and got a job selling their marketing services. I was 25 years old, and I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. There were people at this agency that had deep relationships with some pretty big clients. There was also someone I worked with, who was super intimidating, that had a Ph.D. Here I was with an education heavy on subjects like ear training, recording studio techniques, and performance and I was expected to perform at the level of people with 10+ years of formal education. Every day I felt like a rudderless ship, so I tried to read every book that I could find on marketing techniques and leaned on other people in the agency’s experience. At that job, I had a major failure with a client that literally got me yelled out of the room. It made me want to quit, but somehow I was able to dust myself off and go back and win the business. Through it all, I felt like I was just faking it the entire time.

After my agency experience, I joined a company that distributed 6,500 different products. I was in charge of 11 different private-label brands and helped develop and launch a $20MM electronic cigarette brand that ended up being sold in Sam’s Club and Walmart. From day one, I had key decision-makers of the company asking me what we needed to do on everything from packaging design to pricing. I felt like I was completely over my head. I had zero distribution experience, zero retail experience, and the largest company I had ever worked for, to that point, was maybe $4-$5MM in annual revenue. Now I was expected to make critical decisions for a $200MM company with customers worldwide. I ended up working a lot of hours and trying to learn as much as I could from everyone that would give me the time. I always had a seed of doubt that maybe I wasn’t cut out for making big decisions throughout my time.

That brings me to where I’ve been for the past decade, leading the marketing for a company that sells and refurbishes private jets. When I joined this company, I was concerned by how technical the products are and how segmented and small the audiences were. Some of the key audiences only have less than 500 potential customers in the entire world. I was also expected to drive in leads pretty early after joining the company. I felt like I needed more time, that I needed to learn more, and I was afraid I would fail. The company participates in many more tradeshows than I had ever coordinated before this job, and many customers were influential CEOs of large organizations.

Imposter syndrome nags at you. If imposter syndrome nags at you as much as it nags at me, you never quite feel comfortable. You’re always chasing an impossible feeling of validation. As with any problem, you have to deal with it, and the first step in dealing with the problem is acknowledging that it exists. And as any student of design thinking will tell you, a well-defined problem is half solved, you can start to take steps to resolve imposter syndrome.

I am certainly no expert on managing these feelings, and I would never claim to know what can help other people manage through this struggle. I can only let you know what I have done to help mitigate the feelings of imposter syndrome.

game tricks play cheats — Photo by Negative Space on Pexels.com

Here’s what I’ve done:

Take well-defined breaks from work. Responding to your email in the middle of the night should not be how your employer measures your value. It should be more about how you create and add value to the organization.

Grow a network of like-minded individuals. Too often, many people go through different phases of their life and never hold on to the people that have made a difference in their life. I recently started an MBA networking group with people within my school that I enjoyed meeting. I’ve got another 25 years left in my career, and it’s easier to work through issues with the help of others.

Move on from mistakes. I hate making mistakes. When you’re in marketing, your mistakes are typically pretty amplified because you are the organization’s external (and sometimes internal) communications arm. It happens, and you letting a handful of mistakes get in the way of years of good work can lead to the toxic trap of imposter syndrome.

Exercise every day. I cannot emphasize the importance of exercise on my mental health and creativity enough. On a rainy day, I can feel the impact of not getting outside. Many studies link exercise and mental health, but the effect that it’s had on my creativity is something that I always use. Creatively solving a problem doesn’t happen spontaneously. It needs an incubation period, and exercise is a perfect time to let your mind wander and connect your neurons in a way that you wouldn’t just sitting at a desk.

Try the Pomodoro technique. The Pomodoro technique is a way of time blocking that keeps you focused on completing one thing for 25 minutes and then gives you a purposeful 5-minute break. This is the only way that I’ve been able to get through grad school with a baby while working full time and writing 3,000-word articles every other week. If I can find 25 minutes, I’ll take it and try to apply it to something on my to-do list. This has also allowed me to focus on my daughter because I don’t have one eye on her and one eye on work or school.

Don’t compare yourself with others. I don’t know any other way of saying this that doesn’t sound cliché, but your life and career journey are unique. They’re part of your overall life story. In most instances, the best part is that the journey’s not over yet. You might have many years to continue to write this story, and all good stories have twists and turn within a plot. A problem that arises when we compare ourselves to others is that we’re not typically comparing ourselves to one other person. With social media, we’re comparing ourselves to everyone. That’s an unwinnable mental battle.

The Social Media Trap

Remember the days where you had to go to someone’s Facebook page to find out what they were posting? Social media, really any type of social media, is a highlight reel of people’s personal and professional lives. The problem gets compounded when not only are you viewing someone else’s highlight reel, but you’re viewing EVERYONE’s highlight reel. Go ahead, pick a social media platform and start scrolling. Unless you’re getting into many arguments on Facebook or seeing many people “double-tapping the image” on LinkedIn (PLEASE STOP DOING THIS), for the most part, you are seeing things that everyone that you’re connected with want you to see. It’s sort of like talking to someone that is a compulsive gambler. They’ll always tell you about all of the times they won and never tell you about the times that they’ve lost.

Many of our mentors challenge us to make sure we’re not the smartest person in the room. If you follow this advice and you’re ambitious, you may be connected to many people on LinkedIn: CEOs, heads of departments in large companies, or successful entrepreneurs. If so, your feed will be a highlight reel of people you aspire to be, which could ultimately harm your mental health and well-being. Studies have shown that comparing yourself to others who are seen as “doing better” than you on social media leads to envy and depression.[5]

So What Can Be Done?

Again, I’m not qualified to give advice, and I’d never claim to know what could help, but I can reiterate what I did that has helped me over the years. I am the type of person that feels empowered by knowledge. Before I knew that imposter syndrome existed, all of these emotions would just really be fragmented in my mind. Now that I know that this is a problem, and not only that, it’s a prevalent problem that many different people struggle with, I find it easier to walk away from the feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and frustration that tend to accompany imposter syndrome. Again, it goes back to design thinking and fully understanding and defining a problem. Just defining imposter syndrome allows for efforts to solve the problem.

The other difficulty is the way that imposter syndrome hits creative people. I’m not necessarily talking about people in a typical “creative” field like graphic design or advertising; I’m talking about real creative people. Creativity is all about connecting the dots between problems and solutions. Creativity can be found in just about every field, except maybe accounting. That type of creativity is called fraud… When you are creative, you take risks. You step outside of your comfort zone. You are not afraid to lead the way and offer your opinion on how to go against the status quo in an effort to make your organization a better place. When you do this, you are invariably going to make a mistake.

As a creative person, your mistakes will be more public than others that are comfortable just doing what they’re told to do. Making decisions is mentally challenging. Because you are not always going to make the right decision, you are probably spending more time reflecting on yourself and your abilities than non-creatives. Although self-reflection is typically healthy, it is also an opportunity for imposter syndrome to creep in through self-doubt. The next time this happens, realize that it’s more than likely just imposter syndrome trying to derail you from your path forward.

[1] https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/impostor%20syndrome

[2] https://so06.tci-thaijo.org/index.php/IJBS/article/view/521

[3] Young, Valerie. 2011. The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Imposter Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It.

[4] Reuther, E.T., Davis, T.E., III, Rudy, B.M., Jenkins, W.S., Whiting, S.E. and May, A.C. (2013), INTOLERANCE OF UNCERTAINTY AS A MEDIATOR OF THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PERFECTIONISM AND OBSESSIVE‐COMPULSIVE SYMPTOM SEVERITY. Depress Anxiety, 30: 773-777. https://doi-org.prox.lib.ncsu.edu/10.1002/da.22100

[5] Wei Wang, Mingzhu Wang, Qian Hu, Pengcheng Wang, Li Lei, Suo Jiang,

Upward social comparison on mobile social media and depression: The mediating role of envy and the moderating role of marital quality, Journal of Affective Disorders, Volume 270, 2020, Pages 143-149

An Imperfect Case for Why Perfection Doesn’t Exist

If the word itself doesn’t have an objective meaning, does perfection even exist?

Perfection. For some people, no one word in our vocabulary can cause as much distress as perfection. It causes us sleepless nights, hours of sunk cost, and numerous disagreements. The word perfection causes so many problems because of its ironically imperfect, subjective meaning. Not only does the word perfect have different meanings between math, chemistry, physics, ethics, ontology, and even art theory, but it has gained such colloquial acceptance in just about every area of our life, that having an objective definition of the word perfection is nearly impossible. Outside of a narrow definition like perfect numbers, or rules, we create ourselves (like pitching a perfect game in baseball), can anyone demonstrate something that is objectively perfect?

If the word itself doesn’t have an objective meaning, does perfection even exist?

I would argue that in the way we typically use the word, there’s no such thing as perfection. It’s more of an ever-evolving, nebulous concept…one that is different for everyone. The harsh reality is that everything is flawed. In our lives, we continually push ourselves for our own versions of perfection. We want to have the perfect pitch to a customer, we want to be a perfect employee, we strive to be a perfect parent. Unfortunately, there’s no such thing. We’re chasing a concept that is not only ever-evolving, but it’s a concept that we oftentimes cannot even define for ourselves. The concept of perfection gets in the way of our goals and holds us back.

adventure athlete athletic daylight — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Achieving Big Goals Requires Action

The key to getting past a narrow, made-up view of perfection is to push yourself to act, sometimes when you’re not ready. Several years ago, I got a crazy idea that I wanted to run an ultra marathon. I didn’t just want to run 50K. Nope, I wanted to skip right over the 50K distance and jump straight to a 50-mile race. Why? Honestly, I don’t really know. I could try and make up something that sounds enlightened, or paints me as “goal-oriented”, but I think I wanted to do it just to do it. I wanted to see if I could. If I pushed myself, what would happen? After I dreamed up the goal and decided that was what I was going to do, the execution…well, it wasn’t easy, but at least I knew what I had to do, even though I felt that I was just kind of making up the plan as I went.

Basically, training for an ultra is a lot like training for a regular marathon. The only difference is that you need to learn how to eat (and keep it down) during the race. It also involves putting in time on the trails and not just the road, as these are two, distinct skill sets. But really, it’s not that complicated. It’s not that amazing. It’s not undoable. It’s, well…it’s just a bunch of running.

The day of the race was far from perfect. I wanted to quit for, well…about 11 hours. There was one key moment where I almost dropped out. About 32 miles in, I had missed a key protein intake. Unfortunately, when you continually run like a crazy person, you need continual protein or you turn into a bumbling idiot. You can’t form coherent sentences. Luckily, my wife was there to help put everything into perspective. It took about 30–45 minutes, but I ate, got back on the trail, and finished. My feet hurt, my head hurt, just about every part of my body hurt, but I did it. It wasn’t perfect. I failed many times. Still to this day, I don’t know why I did it or if I’ll do another one, but the experience was something I’ll never forget. It taught me a lot about myself and reminded me of how the human spirit can help us move past our inner perfectionist and focus on actually doing something.

Making a change is as simple as taking action. You’ve got to start. We have the amazing opportunity to experiment with many different tactics on how to try to achieve our goals. Throughout the process, when we see the progress that is moving us toward where we want to be, we can feed on that energy and continue the positive actions that are getting us there. If we don’t see what we are doing is working, or is moving us backward, we can always stop. Just by starting something new, we stop the false idea of perfection that stops many people from ever starting.

Fear Holds us Back

white and brown wooden tiles — Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com

Our pursuit of perfection is partially rooted in fear, namely, the fear of failure. However, failure, like perfection, is subjective. We can probably think of some examples that many people will agree to look like a failure, but I believe that failure only happens if you stumble and do not get up to try again. So many successes have been born out of perceived failures. Edison “failed” 1,000 times trying to find the right filament for the light bulb. Once it finally worked, was it perfect? No. Lightbulbs have significantly evolved just in my lifetime and they will continue to evolve. Edison’s solution was a solution that worked for the time.

When we let a nebulous concept of perfection hold us back from trying, fear and self-doubt grip our decision-making process. When we do this, we fail to act and nothing ever happens. Nothing ever changes. We continue to wish that something was different, but we wholeheartedly believe in our self-made version of perfection. And the inverse, failing, scares us. What would our society look like if Edison stopped because he knew that he could never create something perfect? Well, maybe some other fearless inventor would have created the light bulb, or maybe we would still be in the dark. The fear of not being perfect is a fear that holds us back in our jobs, in our personal lives, and as a society as a whole.

Perfectionism’s Mental Health Impact

Perfectionism is closely related to OCD. Don’t believe me? Check out this study. Perfectionism is continually living in a state of dissatisfaction with anything that we’re dealing with. It causes procrastination, stress, anxiety, hoarding, and so many other issues. Yeah, it can get messy. More on that here. When we give ourselves unreasonably high goals, (many of which are ever-changing and self-imposed), it could even lead to imposter syndrome. It turns out that the word “perfect” isn’t just imperfect, it’s a major cause for concern.

Growth is Different

lush green trees on mountain on summer day — Photo by Maria Orlova on Pexels.com

What are you trying to achieve? Is it to complete a big project? Are you looking for a promotion? Are you pursuing a new career path? Don’t let your flawed ideas of perfection hold you back from these goals.

Growth is not perfection. All living things grow. Plants, animals, even our universe is ever-expanding. As humans, until we reach a state of cognitive decline, our minds will likely continue to grow. They will continue to build upon each success or failure, no matter how big or how small. Growth requires time, nurturing, and continued development. Growth is more about the journey and less about the perceived fictitious perfection that you will receive once you reach your self-defined destination. More importantly, growth requires action. It requires us to actually put ourselves out there and try, despite our fears. Despite our insecurities. Even though we will never reach perfection.

What do you think?

How a Johnny Cash Producer Changed My Career and Changed My Life

When I was in undergrad, I took an elective called “Advanced Recording Studio Techniques”. Yep, there was a course at an accredited university that went in-depth on how to best engineer sound in the recording studio. Even more surprising, at one time there was a place specifically designed for musicians to record an album. All kidding aside, it was pretty awesome. We covered advanced microphone techniques, mastering, and how to use just about everything inside of a recording studio. As you might imagine, the self-selecting group of students that go to school for music and find themselves in the Advanced Recording Studio Techniques class aren’t just kind of nerdy, they’re really nerdy (myself included). They love stories about production techniques like how Jimmy Page left in an earlier vocal take on the ending of “Whole Lotta Love”. Herein lies the problem. When you get to this level of geekiness, you limit your audience to only a handful of others that can relate to you. Enter Ronnie Dean.

The Yoda of Record Producers

Ronnie Dean was an old Nashville producer. He had worked as an engineer at Columbia records and production on “The Johnny Cash Show”. He had an amazing ear and intuition for crafting perfection. This wasn’t just apparent in the music he produced, but also in the way he read the room and related to his students. He knew how nerdy we were and he also knew how much we respected him. Every class he would reiterate the best career advice I have ever received:

“If you are only interested in one thing, you won’t be any fun at parties.”

It’s All Geek to Me

He explained that early on in his career, he would go to parties and talk about work. He’d talk about the 32 takes that it took in the studio for a guitar solo, or how to mic a drum kit, or even what it was like to run sound for Johnny Cash. He quickly realized that no one really cared. He had become so focused on his own microcosm of the world that he forgot to observe everything else around him. He forgot how to relate to people. Luckily, he was able to learn from his experience and make sure that his students never made the same mistakes that he had made. He pushed his students to think beyond his classroom and not take it so seriously. He wanted us to do things like explore the arts, climb a mountain, go for a walk, read a book, and talk to kids in other majors.

Being the socially awkward musician that I was (and still kind of am), I was terrified at the thought of getting out of my comfort zone. I was an expert in the field, a big fish. I knew just about any recording trick in the book. I knew when to use a ribbon mic over a condenser mic, I knew…wait a minute, there I go again… Anyway, as a punk 19-year-old, I was lucky enough to receive this advice and it completely shaped the way that I think. It changed the way I interact with people, the way I learn, the things I read, and it certainly changed my career trajectory.

How I’ve Applied it to My Career

His sage advice has helped me carve an unconventional path. I started out in the music industry, joined an ad agency, started my own ad agency, worked in consumer goods and private label brands, and for nearly a decade have worked in the highly-regulated world of aviation. In a world full of specialists, I’m a generalist…a Swiss Army Knife. In my career, I know enough about a lot of subjects to be dangerous. I can talk to a customer intelligently at a trade show, but also know when that customer needs to talk to a specialist. I can craft messaging strategies about highly technical topics, but I always need a little help from my technical friends to make sure I get it right. It turns out that many of the skills and interests I developed along the way have transferred, regardless of the industry.

The only reason that I know what I do about marketing is that I’ve put in the time and effort based on a genuine interest in the subject. Before my formal MBA training, my branding education came from reading and following the greats like Seth Godin and Marty Neumeier. My graphic design background and social media promotion experience came out of necessity, as early in my career the companies I worked for had very limited budgets. My experience writing and crafting messages has come from decades of reading and ghostwriting for others. To be good at any one of these skills takes time. It takes energy. It takes hundreds, if not thousands of hours of practice. More importantly, it takes genuine interest and curiosity. Although I’m probably not the best at any one of these particular specialties, I still live by the same principle; I’d rather be fun at parties.

How I’ve Applied it to My Life

Although Ronnie Dean’s advice has been important for my career, it’s been even more important for my personal life. He was right. I gave up the specialist mentality nearly 20 years ago. Although I still play music, it’s only a part of my life. I’ve developed an appreciation for many different interests, like hockey, running (5 marathons, 3 ultras), cooking, art museums, reading, listening to songs with my daughter, and the list changes daily. By having the curiosity to continually learn and take on different interests, I’ve been able to better connect with others and have fun along the way.

What do you think? What are you into? What timeless advice have you received that has changed your life?

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Five Amazing Life Lessons I Learned From My Dog

In November of 2017, I had to make the single most difficult and heartbreaking decision of my life. I had to put my first dog down. Elvis was a nearly 13-year-old Beagle, (well, 12 years, 10 months and two days, but who’s counting) when he was diagnosed with late-stage liver disease. I was simply taking him in for routine yearly blood work when they discovered the problem. A week and a half later, he was gone.

From the moment I got the call, I was devastated. I know it sounds cliché, but he was my best friend. I had him since he was six weeks old. Throughout his life, he lived with me in four different states (North Carolina twice), had extensive hikes through the mountains, loved camping trips and long walks. He even made it to the ocean three times and braved the eight foot swells just for an adventure.

November 9th, 2017 was the worst day of my life. But the truth is that the pain was terrible because I got almost 13 years of amazing times spent with him. This story isn’t for pity or for remorse, but about being remembered for doing great things. In a way, Elvis lives on through me. The way he lived his life was something to be remembered and I am just lucky to have known a 27-pound Beagle so well.

Lesson #1 — You Can be the Biggest & Best Leader Even if You’re the Runt

I remember the night I drove up to the farm in Leesburg, Florida to get the one of the four advertised Beagle puppies in the litter. When I showed up, there was one left, and he was, well… the runt. He was so small I could fit him in a shirt pocket. I didn’t really care. Not only was he cute, he was full of energy and wanted to play from the moment we met.

Throughout his life, Elvis always wanted to lead. On walks and hikes with friends and other dogs, he always had to be in the lead. If he wasn’t, he would pull and pull on the leash until he was out front. He was always forging ahead and never afraid to blaze a trail. He pushed me to take on more adventures and try and be the best person I could be.

Lesson #2 — Explore — Do Different Things, Smell New Smells and Go on Adventures

Early in Elvis’ life, we moved to a pretty remote part of North Carolina, just at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mountains. While living there, we took every opportunity to explore new parks, waterfalls, hiking trails and campgrounds the area had to offer. I would say “Wanna go for a ride?” and he would do this incredibly cute tilt of his head. He knew he was going to have a great time exploring.

He wanted to hit the trails even up into his old age. St. Patrick’s day, 2016, he had barely turned twelve, and we were able to return to one of the hiking trails he loved so much early in his life. It had been nearly 10 years since he had been there and he loved checking out the waterfalls.

Beyond trails, Elvis loved being out in public. Fortunately, many restaurants allow dogs on the patio. He would go with us and hang out on lazy Sundays, for live music on Saturday nights, and even just have fun on a random night out.

Many times, I think we can get too caught up in our daily lives to just have some fun. Although I have no idea exactly what it will be like, I imagine that when I get to the end of my life, I’m going to remember the fun I had and not my boring routines. I’m going to remember the unknowns. I’m going to remember the adventures.

Marley (left) and Elvis (right) — Photo Credit Andrew Evans

Lesson #3 — Trust Your Friends — Even When They Steal Your Food

Shortly before Thanksgiving in 2009, we added Elvis’s “little brother”, Marley, to the family. Marley was a Beagle/Basset mix (called a Bagle Hound), and although he was younger than Elvis, he was much bigger and stronger. Regardless, what Elvis lacked in size, he made up for in wit and determination. It was clear that Elvis was the alpha dog.

We got Marley from a no kill shelter and it seemed that he had been abused and possibly starved early in his life. He was afraid of sudden movements, strange sounds, and was initially very aggressive toward large dogs. Since the moment we got him, he always ate his food faster than any animal I have ever seen. Sometimes Elvis was lazy and didn’t get to his food before Marley stole a few bites of Elvis’s food. Most of the time, a few bites meant he ate pretty much everything. Before we got Marley, Elvis had access to food all day and never really had a big appetite, so he was okay with his friend getting a little more.

Throughout their nearly eight-year relationship, they shared a lot. They shared their toys, beds, and our time. They were two best friends and even though they competed in various ways, they trusted each other and loved being together. Marley followed Elvis everywhere he went and even laid next to him while he took his last breath.

Elvis (left) and Marley (right) — Photo Credit Andrew Evans

Lesson #4 — Take Care of Your Pack

As a runt, Elvis was still the leader of the pack. Despite his size, he always thought he was an alpha dog but he was always a kind alpha dog. He had this eerie ability to know how you were feeling, regardless if you were a human or a canine (not a cat though, he did have one fear — CATS!) If you were sick, he wouldn’t leave your side. If you needed to be alone, he kept his distance. He was an alarm to trespassers, letting his humans and buddy Marley know of anything out of the ordinary.

Even though it happened very quickly, as Elvis’s health declined, he seceded his position as alpha dog and started letting Marley take over. Marley started leading walks and Elvis would follow. Instead of leading the charge when it was time to go outside, he started following Marley out the door. He knew when to lead, but he also knew when it was time to let others take over.

Lesson #5 — It’s Okay to be Human

Elvis kept teaching me through his final hours and perhaps this was his most important lesson. I received a call that went my voicemail on 10/30/2017 regarding Elvis’s blood work. They said they were concerned as all of his liver levels were high. It was 7pm and I couldn’t call back because they weren’t open. After spending the night worrying, I talked to the vet first thing in the morning. The news wasn’t good. It was horrible. That day, I had two different vets talking to me about end-of-life services and I didn’t know how to react. I was completely caught off guard.

Although I wasn’t delusional and thinking he would somehow live forever, it was something I had never expected. I completely lost it. I sobbed uncontrollably. Sometimes to this day, those memories come back and I lose it. I become an emotional wreck. It even happened as I wrote this. As I reflect on the end of Elvis’s life, I found that he made it feel okay to be vulnerable. I had always tried to be strong during tough times and I can’t remember crying, at least sobbing uncontrollably, in over 20 years. Elvis taught me that it is okay to cry when you feel sad, it’s okay to be…human.

Now that he’s gone he doesn’t have to feel any more pain and I don’t have to be sad about his pain, I’m only sad because I miss him so much. I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing him but I try more and more each day to remember all of the beautiful moments he provided to me and my family. In life, if you want to be a leader, you need to learn from the best. If you ask me today about my leadership experience, I’ll start by saying “Let me tell you about Elvis”.

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The Yoda of Record Producers

It’s All Geek to Me

How I’ve Applied it to My Career

How I’ve Applied it to My Life