In November of 2017, I had to make the single most difficult and heartbreaking decision of my life. I had to put my first dog down. Elvis was a nearly 13-year-old Beagle, (well, 12 years, 10 months and two days, but who’s counting) when he was diagnosed with late-stage liver disease. I was simply taking him in for routine yearly blood work when they discovered the problem. A week and a half later, he was gone.
From the moment I got the call, I was devastated. I know it sounds cliché, but he was my best friend. I had him since he was six weeks old. Throughout his life, he lived with me in four different states (North Carolina twice), had extensive hikes through the mountains, loved camping trips and long walks. He even made it to the ocean three times and braved the eight foot swells just for an adventure.
November 9th, 2017 was the worst day of my life. But the truth is that the pain was terrible because I got almost 13 years of amazing times spent with him. This story isn’t for pity or for remorse, but about being remembered for doing great things. In a way, Elvis lives on through me. The way he lived his life was something to be remembered and I am just lucky to have known a 27-pound Beagle so well.
Lesson #1 — You Can be the Biggest & Best Leader Even if You’re the Runt
I remember the night I drove up to the farm in Leesburg, Florida to get the one of the four advertised Beagle puppies in the litter. When I showed up, there was one left, and he was, well… the runt. He was so small I could fit him in a shirt pocket. I didn’t really care. Not only was he cute, he was full of energy and wanted to play from the moment we met.
Throughout his life, Elvis always wanted to lead. On walks and hikes with friends and other dogs, he always had to be in the lead. If he wasn’t, he would pull and pull on the leash until he was out front. He was always forging ahead and never afraid to blaze a trail. He pushed me to take on more adventures and try and be the best person I could be.
Lesson #2 — Explore — Do Different Things, Smell New Smells and Go on Adventures
Early in Elvis’ life, we moved to a pretty remote part of North Carolina, just at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mountains. While living there, we took every opportunity to explore new parks, waterfalls, hiking trails and campgrounds the area had to offer. I would say “Wanna go for a ride?” and he would do this incredibly cute tilt of his head. He knew he was going to have a great time exploring.
He wanted to hit the trails even up into his old age. St. Patrick’s day, 2016, he had barely turned twelve, and we were able to return to one of the hiking trails he loved so much early in his life. It had been nearly 10 years since he had been there and he loved checking out the waterfalls.
Beyond trails, Elvis loved being out in public. Fortunately, many restaurants allow dogs on the patio. He would go with us and hang out on lazy Sundays, for live music on Saturday nights, and even just have fun on a random night out.
Many times, I think we can get too caught up in our daily lives to just have some fun. Although I have no idea exactly what it will be like, I imagine that when I get to the end of my life, I’m going to remember the fun I had and not my boring routines. I’m going to remember the unknowns. I’m going to remember the adventures.
Lesson #3 — Trust Your Friends — Even When They Steal Your Food
Shortly before Thanksgiving in 2009, we added Elvis’s “little brother”, Marley, to the family. Marley was a Beagle/Basset mix (called a Bagle Hound), and although he was younger than Elvis, he was much bigger and stronger. Regardless, what Elvis lacked in size, he made up for in wit and determination. It was clear that Elvis was the alpha dog.
We got Marley from a no kill shelter and it seemed that he had been abused and possibly starved early in his life. He was afraid of sudden movements, strange sounds, and was initially very aggressive toward large dogs. Since the moment we got him, he always ate his food faster than any animal I have ever seen. Sometimes Elvis was lazy and didn’t get to his food before Marley stole a few bites of Elvis’s food. Most of the time, a few bites meant he ate pretty much everything. Before we got Marley, Elvis had access to food all day and never really had a big appetite, so he was okay with his friend getting a little more.
Throughout their nearly eight-year relationship, they shared a lot. They shared their toys, beds, and our time. They were two best friends and even though they competed in various ways, they trusted each other and loved being together. Marley followed Elvis everywhere he went and even laid next to him while he took his last breath.
Lesson #4 — Take Care of Your Pack
As a runt, Elvis was still the leader of the pack. Despite his size, he always thought he was an alpha dog but he was always a kind alpha dog. He had this eerie ability to know how you were feeling, regardless if you were a human or a canine (not a cat though, he did have one fear — CATS!) If you were sick, he wouldn’t leave your side. If you needed to be alone, he kept his distance. He was an alarm to trespassers, letting his humans and buddy Marley know of anything out of the ordinary.
Even though it happened very quickly, as Elvis’s health declined, he seceded his position as alpha dog and started letting Marley take over. Marley started leading walks and Elvis would follow. Instead of leading the charge when it was time to go outside, he started following Marley out the door. He knew when to lead, but he also knew when it was time to let others take over.
Lesson #5 — It’s Okay to be Human
Elvis kept teaching me through his final hours and perhaps this was his most important lesson. I received a call that went my voicemail on 10/30/2017 regarding Elvis’s blood work. They said they were concerned as all of his liver levels were high. It was 7pm and I couldn’t call back because they weren’t open. After spending the night worrying, I talked to the vet first thing in the morning. The news wasn’t good. It was horrible. That day, I had two different vets talking to me about end-of-life services and I didn’t know how to react. I was completely caught off guard.
Although I wasn’t delusional and thinking he would somehow live forever, it was something I had never expected. I completely lost it. I sobbed uncontrollably. Sometimes to this day, those memories come back and I lose it. I become an emotional wreck. It even happened as I wrote this. As I reflect on the end of Elvis’s life, I found that he made it feel okay to be vulnerable. I had always tried to be strong during tough times and I can’t remember crying, at least sobbing uncontrollably, in over 20 years. Elvis taught me that it is okay to cry when you feel sad, it’s okay to be…human.
Now that he’s gone he doesn’t have to feel any more pain and I don’t have to be sad about his pain, I’m only sad because I miss him so much. I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing him but I try more and more each day to remember all of the beautiful moments he provided to me and my family. In life, if you want to be a leader, you need to learn from the best. If you ask me today about my leadership experience, I’ll start by saying “Let me tell you about Elvis”.
